there’s no way to say good bye

the weather’s warmin’ the sun shinin’ in past years we planted seeds in our garden

and my children played in the mud

jack cried when he fell from the tree in the front yard and tumbled into the driveway

but he wasn’t hurt

katie laughed when she ran through the sprinkler with all her clothes on

 

there’s no way to say good bye

 

when jack was born his grandfather carried him in a bundle of blankets into the backyard and talked to him

it was september and cold

i was a new mother and nervous but jack was fine and the size of a toddler

and his grandfather was telling him secrets

 

there’s no way to leave

 

we spent a summer in canada jumping into the freezing water of a deep rocky lake

screaming as we hit the water and laughing when we found the surface

we danced to the music of a victrola and its scratchy records of another life and slept under mosquito nets

 

there’s no way to let go

 

katie slept with me last night crying

her grandfather is dying and i can’t fix it

i would if i could

it’s a better world with him in it

so i tell her to remember and i tell her to love him while he’s here

 

there’s no way to say good bye

 

 

**Note: My children’s grandfather (their dad’s father) is dying of bile duct cancer after battling colon cancer. It is fast and has no cure. They found out last Thursday. He has weeks to leave.**

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